I Concur

I was reading a post on my friend Mike's blog earlier this evening, and all I have to say is this:

I feel exactly the same way.

I am sick to death of the dating game. Why do they even call it that? Aren't games supposed to be FUN? Because if that's the case, I'm obviously playing it wrong. I loathe it. Among all the words I would use to describe dating, fun has yet to fall into play. I don't go into it with that mentality of "lets see how many options/possibilities I can get at once". I want to find THE one. A guy who wants to be with me; not be with me when there isn't anything else to do. I don't want to be the backup plan.

If you had asked me a decade ago where I would be right now, I would have been confident in telling you I would be married with kids at this point in time. You never truly know how your future will play out, that's for sure.

I spent the last couple of relationships getting lied to, shoved to the back of the "importance" line or being fed a constant barrage of broken promises. When is enough enough? How long are you supposed to wade through the crap and drama before that one finally comes along and shows you that bullshit you went through was actually worth it because you ended up with THE one? I'm patient as hell, but this is getting exhausting and I'm beginning to feel jaded on the entire subject.

Oh, and on a somewhat related topic: Online dating. Holy hell are there a lot of freaks out there. You'd think spending as much time studying weirdos as I have in all my criminology classes that nothing would surprise me. Well, ladies and gentlemen, consider me surprised. I had no clue just how many psychos were around until I tried the aforementioned venue. Words simply cannot describe the plethora of headcases that messaged me. It was a cacophony of freaks bombarding my inbox. I won't go into descriptives. Let's just say the need to take a Silkwood shower wasn't entirely out of the realm of thought.

Never. Ever. EVER. Again will I try that one.

And Then Life Throws You A Curveball...

What can I say? Every time I think things are going smoothly, something cuts in, slaps me in the face, and says "Not so fast!".

This current moment in time has been no exception to that rule.

I am back in Oregon. Not that I don't love Oregon. It's my home, and after all the places I've been in just a few short months this past year, I can say without a doubt; Oregon is my home.

I just wish I hadn't had to come flying back like the CIA was chasing me. I left Austin, Texas Saturday afternoon and arrived back in Bend Monday night. How's that for challenging The Cannonball Run??

Right now all I want to do is find a job, pay some bills, and figure out how to go back to the University of Oregon this coming fall. The valley is where I want to be. Funny how the place I lived the shortest amount of time turns out to be the place I consider "home". I think the fact that I have so much family there may have something to do with it...plus I was born there, so maybe it's in my DNA. Who knows.

I can't really say the exact reasons for bringing me back to Oregon other than it's family and I needed to be back here to deal with things that were trying to be changed behind my back and without my knowing.

Hopefully by next fall I'll be in a position to move back to Springfield. In the meantime I'm trying to spend as much time as I can hanging out with my little brother...he is the only immediate family I have and I think it'll do us both good to be under the same roof again for awhile.

On The Road...AGAIN...

Well to make a long story not so long, let's just say Connecticut wasn't where I was meant to stay.

Thanks to that fantastic power outage that lasted over a week in some places here, the two classes I was teaching have now been converted into online ones. See, they were condensed into the 8 week session that started last month, and due to the school being closed for two weeks from the blackout, we lost too much time to finish out the courses. So, with that we redid the syllabus and are having the students take a comprehensive online exam over what we DID cover, and added a short paper in lieu of a midterm and final.

Several of us also found out that due to budget issues, we were going to be cut back to part-time next semester as well. That is, unfortunately, not an option for me as it does not pay me enough to live. It also gets rid of my benefits (specifically my insurance).

So I have made the decision to move to Texas. I have the most wonderful friends in the world there. They are waiting on pins and needles for my arrival. The thought of being back home in Denton makes me beyond thrilled. Getting to spend the holidays there will be exactly what I need to erase everything that went wrong all the rest of this past year.

So since I am no longer teaching a "live" class, there is no need for me to continue being in Connecticut. I've been packing for the last few days and will be heading out early in the morning. The only things left to pack up are my computer, a couple of blankets and a comforter, and a few coats hanging in the closet. Everything else is SpaceBagged up and ready to go!

And now I'm calling it an early night since I have an even earlier morning ahead of me. Time to pack up the car and head south!

Exit Stage Left...

I have felt like I've been in limbo quite a bit these past few months. Plans have been made. Plans have been changed. Promises have been broken (but not by me). Life goes on. So as my Gram would say you have to either "like it or lump it".

I have decided to follow what I feel in my heart is the right thing for me to do. So in just a matter of a few days, I will be heading back to New England; I'm moving to Connecticut.

I have a part time teaching job there that starts October 25th, and one of my best friends in the world, who lives in New York, rang one of her uncles and he offered me his gorgeous 6000 square foot home in South Glastonbury to use as long as need be. He built it to have as a weekend home (he works in Manhattan), but ended up liking one of the water front New Jersey towns better. So this house has been empty for three years.

I have been packing for weeks. It seems to never end. I must say that I adore whoever it was that invented Space Bags. They are a LIFESAVER!!

So this weekend I will be loading my car up with clothes, DVDs, my computer, photo albums, and most importantly, three Yorkies, and heading back east for good. I moved back here not for the vast career opportunities (insert sarcasm here). I moved back because my mom became terminally ill. She was my best friend on earth and I miss her so much it hurts. But at least I got almost 3 good years with her. This past year has been pretty miserable having to stay in this house. I'm sad to leave because I truly do love Oregon, but I'm excited to be starting a new chapter in my life (and be closer in proximity to my friends back in New England).

I need a change and this one, I feel, will be a good one.

The Winds of Change

It seems every single time I make plans, something derails them.

My plans for moving back to Denton this summer would be no exception.

I will not go into all the details of what happened with J and I regarding our decision to dissolve our relationship. I will just say I cannot spend the rest of my life with someone who is always choosing money over love and family. Money is not the most important thing in life; to me anyway. It just came to the point where I realized we had far different values.

Over the last two weeks several things went wrong that have, ultimately, derailed my return to Texas. First, I learned that once I leave Oregon, if I'm not moving to a RGE state (it stands for Regional Graduate Exchange - giving discounted tuition to residents of Washington, Oregon, Montana, Nevada, Idaho, New Mexico, Arizona, the Dakotas, Utah and a few schools in California. If they are residents of any of those states, they can attend schools in any of the aforementioned state and only pay slightly over in-state tuition), I will lose my in-state tuition status. It also means not qualifying for RGE tuition either, since Texas is not part of the system. Consequently. I would not be able to take classes this next year to finish my masters, instead having to take the year off of school and wait until I was in Texas a year to qualify for in-state tuition there.

None of that is an option. If I were still 20 years old I'd probably go ahead and do it. But quite obviously I am not.

The other blow came a couple of days after learning about my tuition dilemma. I was informed that due to budget constraints, UNT had cut six fellowship grant positions. Mine was one of them. So that meant no job for the upcoming school year. The same day I talked to a few friends back in Texas who informed me of the budget cuts and the fact that several/most of them who are teachers, aren't going to have jobs to go back to after this year comes to an end next month. That was NOT promising news.

And to top it all off, I was called by one of my realtors who informed me that the owners of the house I was buying went into foreclosure. The house was now owned by the bank, making our escrow null and void.

Pretty much anything that could go wrong, did. Now I pride myself on being an extremely adaptable person. Having spent my entire childhood (and quite a bit of my adult life) moving on a fairly constant basis, you get used to change and learn to go with the flow. I'm trying my best to channel that right now lol.

Things I've Learned...

1 - There is no true lady-like way to eat sushi.
2 - I will never be tall enough to buy jeans without having to hem them.
3 - My hair grows twice as fast as anyone I know. I have to color it at least once a month - every 3 weeks in the summer.
4 - No matter how long I live, I will never understand how my dryer manages to eat socks, but I'm thoroughly convinced it does.
5 - I am NOT a cat person.
6 - I will never be a morning person either.
7 - I would much prefer to live in another time period. Preferably the 1950s. I know I say I am not as keen on technology as most (as I type this out on my digital blog), but I honestly think it just causes person-to-person relationships to suffer. People don't really know each other nowadays.
8 - I am not a fan of big dogs. Not that I dislike them, but the ones I've known are destructive (even if only by accident). I like little cuddle dogs (hence the reason I have Yorkshire Terriers).
9 - Meteorologists are only right 20% of the time.
10 - Velveeta is just downright scary.

Retail

I'm not really a fan of retail chains. Especially when it comes to clothing. I have noticed in recent years, that the quality of the fabrics as well as the quality of the craftsmanship, is sorely lacking. Not that I find this very surprising. Most of these things are made in third world countries, most likely by school-age children.

I've always been known for having a plethora of clothes. But as of late, my "outfit for every occasion" mentality has switched. For me, it's about quality, not quantity. There are a few key brands that I personally feel are well worth the price.

Juicy Couture - Made in the USA (even if it is from imported fabrics). I have only purchased their velour, but I am quite impressed. I have 3 pair of pants and one zip front hoodie. They retain their shape, don't fade, don't wear out and are extremely comfortable. I have had one pair for over 3 years and wash them constantly. They are still like new. I purchased all of them at the Nordstrom Rack, so I saved about 60%.

Pendleton - Based in Portland, Oregon. They make wonderful wool and wool blend items; shirts, blankets, scarves, etc. I have a blanket that was a wedding present of my parents - so it's even older than I am and in fabulous shape.

Ralph Lauren - I have a couple of his polo shirts, which I have owned for about 6 years. They are, hands down, ten times better quality than the ones carried by The Gap, Old Navy, American Eagle Outfitters. I have purchased the same type of shirt from these stores, and they have all fallen by the wayside. Only the Ralph Lauren ones still fit like new. Well worth the extra money. Plus, I bought them at an outlet mall, so they really didn't cost me any more than the ones I got from The Gap.

When it comes to things like tees, I don't expect them to last too terribly long. So for things like that, I just look for what is on sale and doesn't look like it was sewn crooked ;)